The more people I work with I develop more empathy. I wish I had learned this earlier: people are people. They all have the same issues, the same stories. Everyone struggles at different levels. Every is scared. Everyone is insecure, vulnerable – on a gradient of intensity. The more people I work with the more empathy I develop for nationalities, genders, opinions, etc.
As I pass thru the corridors of my workplace I look at people wondering if they care? If they wonder why I am looking at them? If they wonder the same about me? If they are better than me? If they are smarter than me? If they are happier than me? And the more people I meet, work, sit and talk with I realize we are more similar than different.
Then there is the imposter syndrome but I will leave that topic for a later exploration.
I think I have been conditioned in a certain way in last 30 years. Some of these conditionings are:
- 10 girls to 25 boys in a class.
- All boys school from 7th grade onwards.
- Girls score grades and boys become street smart.
- Girls get married and their husbands outshine in careers.
- Physical beauty is real beauty
- Girls maintain kitchen and boys geek out.
- I am smart, others are not.
- Love equals marriage.
- Marriage equals children.
- I am not smart as the white folks, non Pakistani folks, rich folks, other folks.
- Boys only court girls.
- Other people are always right.
- There is a single right way of doing things and only other people know what that right way is.
- Worry about how you chew, how you fold your shirts, how you speak, how you dress, how you comb your hair
- Worry about making Queen Victoria happy in her grave.
- Worry about what other people will say.
- Worry about if everyone is happy.
- Indians are evil
- Westerners are immoral
- Judgement passing is ok
- Perfect is better than done
- Elders are always right
- People are born to fulfill their god-anointed role and for some people it is being dark skinned christians in Pakistan cleaning sewerage only
Just to mention a few. (It is a very complicated society with a lot of good and bad and everything in between).
This turns into conditioning because everyone around me is following the same curriculum. There is no diversity. Its only when you work, live, talk, sit with other humans that you realize there is no single truth, no single way. Queen Victoria’s etiquettes are not the end of the world and her passive aggressive clones are not the only people who deserve to be made happy all the time. That the world is much larger than my need to look like the cool boys in the next street or to become as cool as the rich uncle.
At this point in my life I think diversity and inclusion is very, very important – probably more than schooling and academics. This is, among other major changes, that I have been feeling lately.
2 books behind schedule. But “2” is just a number, right? You cannot “quantify” books. Setting up a goal of number of books is utterly naive. There are books you want to revisit over and over no matter how big. There are also books you simply cannot make yourself to go through, no matter how small. This journey is about finding these kind of books and sharing the knowledge and process.
Continue reading “Books, Gigs, Tech, Talk”
The tale of two lists
2016 started on a high note. I am certainly enjoying the audiobooks. Having set up a few categories to read from this year, I am more determined than last year to cover a broader set of topics.
I highly recommend setting up two important lists: The read list and the hack list. If you are a new reader, just get reading. 1 book in a year is immensely better than 0 but once you are reading 4-5 books in a year, you will start to love it. By the time you can do 20 or more books, you will need to prioritize what you read. Similarly, the hack list helps you prioritize your personal projects. If you have not deliberately undertaken and completed a small personal project, I would suggest just commit to one and do it. Once you realize your potential (and everyone has boatload of it), you will want to do more. Once you are able to do more predictably, you will have to plan where those precious hours go.
Here is my read list 2016 (here is read list 2015). Here is my hack list 2016 (without any method to madness). I’ve started the hack-list this year so it is not very well structured and I have yet to see how it pans out at the end of the year. An experiment I am excited about.
The tale of two advantages
I have realized two advantages: The commuter advantage and the weekend advantage.
I think having a commute is a double edged sword. It is an advantage and a disadvantage at the same time. The commute (2 hours every weekday) is not terribly tiring if I get enough rest while at home. It does give an advantage of 2 hours to myself, undisturbed (mostly, not counting the screeching of the trains). This allows me to pursue personal projects and learning but it is also taking away 2 hours that I could otherwise spend with family or at work (both of which have an appetite for more). I guess I have to spend more time in coming days in time-budgeting. My health initiative suffer greatly because of this.
Similarly, the weekend advantage is a self realized one. You could spend it binge watching netflix, traveling around, lazing around or just sleeping. Or, if you are like me, you can spend it with family in the daytime and coding/learning in the night time.
Science & Space Travel
- Astronaut’s guide to life on earth ★★★★★
- Starman (In progress)
- The future of mind ★★★★★
- The last question ★★★★★
- Girl on the train (In progress) ★★★★
- The confidence Gap ★★★
- Way of the seal (abandoned) ★
- Creativity Inc (In progress)
- Happiest toddler on the block (abandoned) ★★★
Statistics and Data science
- Signal vs Noise ★★★
- Python data-science essentials (continued) ★★★★
- First course in design and analysis of experiments (continued) ★★★★
- Patio herb garden (not started) – sigh
- Let’s Hack Book (shelved – will come back to it later)
- Grocery planner app (to be started)
- From the hack list, lots of smaller projects.
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